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Karen M. Black
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A daughter's tale of truth, love and letting go

Moondance cover

An addictive spin on awakening, soulmates and past lives

Where is my soulmate, you ask...

Bet your soul is answering. Are you listening?

Where is my soulmate? When will I meet him or her? Most of all why is it taking so long?/p>

Some days, I know it's hard. It's like everyone around you has found ‘the one’ — except you. So first, let's re-frame this.

Soulmates aren't bestowed upon you to solve your problems, or eliminate your loneliness. Soulmate connections, well... they're not of the earth. They spring from the soul. They're reunions with souls we've known before in past lives. They could be lovers, marriage partners or even friends.

The purpose of soulmates... is to heal challenges, perpetuate love... and help us grow and become more whole ourselves.

Re-framing: Where is my soulmate?

Do you feel you've had to work hard at finding love? I get it.

If you're the last of your friends to meet someone, does that mean your friends are that much smarter, together or better than you? Think about some of the relationships out there. Of course not!

I'll share a secret with you: I do believe, to the bottom of my toes, that your soul wants you to have a soulmate. That is, if you truly want one. You don't ‘need’ a soulmate partner to be successful in life, or happy. But you have a desire for a soulmate partnership, you will have one. It's your desire... and willingness to grow and be persistent that's the key.

So what's the real reason some people have to wait? After hearing so many stories from friends and readers, I've wondered about this for a while now...

Here are some reasons to try on... (tears mean yes)

One reason that some people have to wait longer for their soulmate is because... their souls have something remarkable in mind for them. Big growth. Big leaps of consciousness. So in other words, superficial just doesn't cut it. If true, this means there's a bit more prep work involved... because the gift of love will be worth it.

How does that feel to you?

I also wonder about this. What is those who are being asked to wait for their soulmate, are experiencing a loving invitation to explore their souls. Perhaps on a journey of spiritual awakening, seeking their truth, delving into aspects of life that they never would have given a second thought to if they had met a soulmate easily.

Do you resist this idea? Are you still wondering: okay fine, but where is my soulmate? I understand. I really do. But think about it... wouldn't this make finding your soulmate that much sweeter when it comes?

You'd literally be a whole new person after exploring yourself... able to appreciate and participate in partnership in a whole new way. And you'd avoid the pain of having to find your real self... while in a relationship (that might break up in the process).

Soul forks in the road...

There it is for you, a fork in the road. Which fork do you choose? That path of loneliness, waiting for something outside yourself to fill you up? Or loving yourself whole... so you have lots to share when you meet someone.

What if you're being offered a choice? One which involves loving yourself first? Why? Because a soulmate relationship isn't about finding someone to complete youj. It's about soul growth. Becoming more whole yourself.

Oh no... another AFLO!

A friend has a T-shirt which says ‘AFLO’. It stands for Another Freakin' Learning Opportunity. It's so bang on, I have to laugh.

Now if you find yourself in an AFLO relationship (they tend to be painful, draining and repetitive), remember that your soul is still rooting for you. It still loves you and wants you to have your soulmate if you desire one.

But here's the thing. Soulmates are not bestowed upon the lonely... they're earned. They're a spiritual gift.

Difficult "karmic" relationships can be transformed into loving, soulmated ones. But they take work and awareness, from both of you. This might include therapy, past life work, or any number of things.

Beyond the AFLO

If you want to know where your soulmate is, learn whatever you can about what soulmates really are. If you've read what is a soulmate, you know that soulmates come together for soul growth. Clairvoyant Edgar Cayce also calls soulmates ‘helpmates’. Here's something you can do: read the Edgar Cayce section of my site... and buy a book about him if you resonate.

It all starts with you!

Your soulmate manifestation begins in your own heart. So consider embarking on a spiritual awakening journey!

Ask questions like: Who are you? Why are you here? What's important to you? What's your soul's purpose? What is the true nature of reality and how to soulmates fit in? Big questions requiring emotional (not just intellectual) answers. These questions are critical if you want a relationship that's beyond the AFLO.

In his Conversations with God series Neale Donald Walsch talks about the critical questions to ask about finding your soulmate:

There can be only two questions that are asked with regard to human relationships:

1. Where am I going?
2. Who is going with me?

Do not invert the order of the questions.

Do not – under any circumstances – invert the order of the questions.

Is that clear?

Are you clear about that?

Good. Then we can move on.

In other words, don't ask only "where is my soulmate" – start your search with you. If you're resisting, is it really a soulmate you're looking for?

Which are you? A scuba diver — or a snorkler?

I don't think any of us grow up with the life goal of diving deeply into our own psyches. It's so much easier just to keep things on the surface, right?

But if you truly want a soulmate, and you don't manifest one easily, you often don't have a choice but to dive in.

I don't mean to scare you. Everyone's different and you'll go as deep as your soul needs you to go. You'll dip your toes, or you'll go deep-diving, and that will be perfect for you. Just notice the invitation, if you've been struggling for a while.

What else you can do today...

What else can you do to answer where is my soulmate? Follow the breadcrumbs of serendipity.

“Serendipity. Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you've found is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for.”
— Lawrence Block

Serendipity is not about causality, where one thing causes the next in a linear fashion. Instead, it maintains that just as events may be grouped by cause, they may also be grouped by their meaning.

Psychologist Carl Jung called it Synchronicity: “temporally coincident occurrences of acausal events.”

What this means is that your answers may not come directly when you ask. Ask for what you want, then accept (and evaluate) what comes, even if it looks a bit different. Notice how you feel. Discern. Anticipate. Make a choice. One step leads to the next.

Perhaps it's a book that you happen to see in a window that give you the insight to take an action... that leads to meeting your soulmate.

Or a web site that you've found (hello!) that gives you a new perspective. Or a course that a friend's taken, that makes your heart leap a little. Or traveling by yourself for the first time.

One of my oldest friends met her soulmate, when she decided to go to an event alone, after being stood up by someone she really liked. She met her now husband on the street, and he asked her directions. Today, they're married with two beautiful children.

See how that can work?

Now don't go thinking every little thing that happens to you is a ‘sign’ — that's going too far! But do pay attention... notice, and then take action. The action's important. It's what seeds manifestation, if you will.

Your soul knows where your soulmate is

Above all, pay attention to your soul. Know that it's leading you. Know that your life doesn't stop just because you haven't found your soulmate yet. Make time for fun and friends, and time for reflection. And some yummy, nurturing self-love.

Pay attention to your body. What feels deep inside, like a pulling down? What helps you feel ‘more than’, like a pulling up? How can you expand your intuition? For that's one way your soul speaks to you.

You've read this far. Congratulations — I'm excited for you!

You attracted this site. You're paying attention. Don't stop. What action will you take now?

One day you'll look back, knowing the answer to the question: where is my soulmate.

Take me to:

Finding your soulmate – Serious about finding your soulmate? Why dating sites are not enough...

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