Photo of Karen M. Black

audio message goes here

Karen M. Black
linkedin rss

Back to the Water cover

A daughter's tale of truth, love and letting go

Moondance cover

An addictive spin on awakening, soulmates and past lives

When someone dumps on you: the perils of being Sensitive and Awake

“Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.”
– Khalil Gibran

For those of us with increased sensitivity as a sign of spiritual awakening, it's shocking when someone dumps on you.

Your increased sensitivity may make you feel more open-hearted and so it's it's easy to get caught thinking that everyone else is like you. That everyone has delved deep, reflected, processed and coaxed their hearts awake. That they're accountable and deftly dealing with the shifts of change.

Optimistically, we may even believe that others are doing okay, based on what they tell us. That the people who talk louder or more confidently possess true strength and courage. However, sometimes: what's on the surface is a lie.

The fact is, people who survive change physically, aren't necessarily the ones who are emotionally resilient.

As a sensitive person, I'm not always able to name what's happening in the moment, so often, I absorb others' energies coming at me with my heart wide open. Then later, I am stunned at what I actually ingested!

Sometimes, I struggle with understanding what is mine and what is someone else's. I struggle with this especially around those close to me (for this transfer does not happen with strangers, or without my permission).

A rude heart awakening

I had a rude heart awakening recently, which knocked me out emotionally and physically for almost a week. Yesterday, I was still so confused and muddled that I would have been unable to write this ezine clearly. Yesterday, all I could do was retreat, take some space, and treat myself gently.

This energy came from people near and dear to me. Those with whom I have a checkered history, but for whom I really wanted to bond. I thought they were doing okay. I thought they had changed even so slightly, so instead of minding my boundaries, I opened my heart.

Two days after my time with them, all hell broke loose in the form of erupting drama, that wasn't mine, but pulled me in. From a number of sources in rapid fire, I learned about the underbelly. I missed the cues because I cared too much. Because I wanted everything to be okay for them – even when the reality was something else.

I heard what was said, but I missed what wasn't spoken. I also became aware of what was spoken to someone else.

I missed the cues because I cared too much. Because I wanted everything to be okay for them — even when the reality is that it isn't okay right now for them.

Does this sound shocking to you?

Instead of helping someone who has the emotional resilience to learn from mistakes, I became witness to the squirming insides of those who appeared to be doing okay outside. A lesson I thought I had learned.

This may sound shocking to you, because it is shocking to me. Yes, my soul set me up. Not to bond and connect as I initially wanted, but to learn the truth, once and for all. And to give me the opportunity to dis-connect. Not abandon: but let go permanently.

My soul says: Love this person who is attempting to find a grounding point through chaos and other people. Love them, and empower them by not being so available. By not being the Soother who makes them feel good: only so they can enter battle once again, and return to me bruised and ranting.

Know the truth about their soul, and your own. Know how you've lived and loved together and know the limitation. Choose your level of intimacy with them.

By the way, just because you don't open widely, doesn't mean you don't love them. Doesn't mean you have compassion for their pain.

In fact, being unavailable to them in their most intense time of need (when it comes) may be the most empowering thing you've ever done for them. For they'll be forced to find the strength within themselves.

Dissolving chaotic energies, with love

Of course, now that I'm over this particular emotional hump, I see more clearly. I sought peace, connection, intimacy, mutual nurturing. Instead, I received the truth and now I know. It's time after lifetimes to move on from saving others who now reach out to you, instead of finding the way in their own hearts. It's time to move into expansion. Abundance. To Love and Freedom.

I don't know about you, but there's a lot of unconscious energy being thrown around now. Uncomfortable, sticky energy that's looking for a soft place to stick. That's looking to take away the urgency for change. That seeks temporary relief.

Taking on another's “stuff”, helping them (even just by listening) when they don't really want help (just an energy boost) doesn't serve you, or me. It doesn't serve others, either.

Unless you are a parent to a young child, soothing other people who aren't willing to stretch their hearts and make different choices is not your job. And it's not mine.

When someone dumps on you, walk away with love. Set yourself free.

Meaning of life articles for your heart. Created with love.

comments powered by Disqus

Take me to:

Moondancing e-newsletter – This was first published in Moondancing. Would you like more inspiration delivered to your Inbox?

Spiritual awakening blog – Go back to read the full list of past Moondancing issues organized so you can easily find what your heart seeks today.

Home page